How Abigail Adams Helped our Relationship~the tale of a school project.

The Historical Figure Bottle Project

The second graders at Aubrie’s school were assigned a person in history who made an impact in American culture. Aubrie was assigned Abigail Adams.

Abigail was known for being the First Lady of President Adams, the second president of the United States. She is also considered to be a “founding mother” of America.

During the Revolutionary War she was moved with compassion after the death of a friend to melt her own pewter spoons down for musket balls to distribute to the forces.

She was not educated, so she wasn’t a very good speller but did all she could to improve (note the spelling book on Aubrie’s bottle).

We both learned a whole lot, both about Abigail and ourselves.

This project, as school projects sometimes tend to do, stretched me and my Gal during it’s creation. We weren’t  our “best selves” with each other at moments. Eye rolls and deep sighs. Dramatic head flops onto the breakfast table. Deep breathes that neglected to hide irritation.

During one particularly frustrating moment Aubrie went to her room and I went for a drive.

As I sat in my car staring out the windshield into the woods, I just broke.

“Why am I so upset about this, God?”

It was then God showed me where I was believing a lie that her frustration was about me being a “bad mom” and “bad teacher”. And she was believing a lie that she was a “bad student”, “not creative” and “not smart”.

The lies we individually believed created chaos and emotional distress for both of us, though neither of us believe the lies about the other.

After that hour of alone time and some good healthy reflection, we were able to take a walk together, just the two of us. We shared how our hearts were feeling and while those feelings were real…they were not based on Truth.

Truth says:

I am a good mom. (Psalm 127:3) I am a good teacher. (Proverbs 22:6) I am joyful. (1 Peter 1:8) I am trustworthy. (Ephesians 4:15) I am treasured. (Ephesians 2:10) I am loved. (Jeremiah 31:3)

Truth says:

Aubrie is wise. (Psalm 111:10) Aubrie is creative. (Exodus 35:30-33) Aubrie is a good daughter. (Ephesians 6:1-3) Aubrie is a good student.(Proverbs 22:6) Aubrie is treasured. (Ephesians 2:10) Aubrie is loved. (Jeremiah 31:3)

There are moments in life that can humble us enough to say, “Man, I really messed that up. Can we try again? With boundaries this time?”

A good “top secret code word” goes a long way, I’m learning! We decided together that when we say our secret word it means, “I’m feeling frustrated. You’re a good mom/daughter. You’re a good teacher/student. I love you. I just need a break to remember who I am.”

I hope I keep practicing this with both our girls.

I hope I keep telling them “I’m sorry.” when I’ve made a mistake. I hope their response is always, “I forgive you too, Mommy.”

I hope God keeps showing me the lies so I can keep speaking Truth into their hearts.

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. 3 John 1:4

Abigail Adams (as a bottle)-created February 8, 2020 May she always (help us) speak Truth